Andyman’s Top 9 Metal Albums of 2009

By andyman

Saturday, January 2, 2010

As I began putting together my Top Ten, coming up with an ordered list initially looked unrealistic; I was just going to regurgitate “in no particular order”. Honestly, I thought I’d have a hard time picking ten in the first place. Well…the editor in me meticulously sifted and re-ordered, the Virgo in me created a playlist with the 4 contested albums and listened to it on random taking detailed notes, and the brilliant writer in me came up with a catchy way to write the headline that would disguise my indecisiveness as a catchy play on words (er…play on numbers). So, without further adieu…

9. Destroyer 666 – Defiance

This is about as close to black metal as I can get without feeling uncomfortable. You know, that same feeling you get around somebody who’s holding scissors that shouldn’t be allowed to hold scissors. I can’t remember exactly why I decided to give it a listen in the first place, but it had something to do with a description I read somewhere that it was “Blackened Thrash Metal”…and some doobed out reasoning along the lines of “I like chicken, and I really like blackened chicken, so let’s see how it goes.” My favorite track is definitely “Weapons of Conquest”.

8. Goatwhore – Carving Out the Eyes of God

I had never listened to Goatwhore before listening to this album, but I’m sure glad as hell I decided to check them out…this is fucking demolition derby metal, my friends. The opening track is enough to make me want to strap knives onto my Mazda and enter the ring. “Who needs a god, when you’ve got SATAN!” Fucking aye!

7. Lay Down Rotten – Gospel of the Wretched

If you haven’t heard this album (and you probably haven’t), you’re missing out, plain and simple. If you like Amon Amarth, but you’re looking for something with a little more depth and complexity, look no further. These tracks are juicy, the rhythms will pound you, and you will feel the glory of battle.

6. Jungle Rot – What Horrors Await

There’s something just unbelievably fun about this album. It’s muddy. It’s ballsy. It’s simple. It hits hard. Love it. Who can say no to a track entitled “Exit Wounds”? Yeah, nobody.

5. Revocation – Existence is Futile

Thrashy, beautiful, original. Retro, experimental, solo-tastic. Why haven’t I heard of these guys before? There’s something nostalgic, something familiar about the guitar work here that just feels right, and their performance is tight as hell. Forests and Fjords forever.

4. The Black Dahlia Murder – Deflorate

Yeah, I pretty much love these guys. You can’t watch Majesty and not, really. They love what they do, they’re serious about it, and it fucking shows. I am looking forward to hearing more, especially with a well-acclimated Ryan Knight on the roster.

3. Slayer – World Painted Blood

Now this is an evolution I can get behind. I love the album enough by itself, but, in addition to it being awesome, it gave me a new appreciation for like…every Slayer album ever. When I heard World Painted Blood in its entirety for the first time, it rekindled something inside me that…fucking loves Slayer.

2. Job for a Cowboy – Ruination

Funny how a release I initially cringed at gradually made it damn near to the fucking top-of-my-top-of-the-year, right? Yeah, you heard me: I didn’t even like it when it came out. I soon discovered that my problem was a combination of me being so in love with the quirky, sporadic sound of Doom and the fact that Ruination… sounds nothing like Doom. I just didn’t see eye to eye with the people who praised the departure as an evolution to “real death metal” or whatever the fuck; I like my metal WEIRD, and I think their first two albums are nothing short of genius. I took a step back, looked at all of their releases, and saw the beautiful evolution that has taken place. If you give this album a serious listen, you’re sure to see they haven’t lost those bizarre twisting, jutting foundations that lie at the heart of every track.

1. Gorod – Process of a New Decline

What can I say about this album I haven’t already? Technically impressive, groovin’, quirky, ethereal, brutal…they manage to be tight as fuck and all over the goddamn place all at once. Death metal with a swing beat? Jesus. With my attention span what it is, it takes mad skills to put together an entire collection of tracks I don’t skip to the ends of “after the cool part’s over”. This album gets 8 gold stars and a banana sticker.

Listen to the magic that begins at 2:50 !!!!!

Honorable Mentions (whatever the fuck that means):

Lamb of God – Wrath

Behemoth – Evangelion

Darkest Hour – The Eternal Return

Daath – The Concealers

I really, really like some of the songs on these CDs, I just didn’t like enough of them enough to feel comfortable saying they were among my favorites of the year. They’re definitely good albums, though. After about an hour of trying to decide between the three of them which one got the #10 spot, I says, “Buh, honorable mentions.” I’d venture to guess Wrath is closest to making #10. The album was great, but in its entirety just wasn’t interesting enough for me.

Other than these, of course we got Crack the Skye…I wudn’t really feelin’ that one. Skeletonwitch is awesome, but for some reason I can’t bring myself to enjoy their CDs nearly as much as their live shows. Baroness is good, but I can’t help but feel like they’re overrated. “A Horse Called Golgotha” from Blue Record is definitely awesome, but I didn’t enjoy the rest of the tracks as much. Who knows, as with any metal albums, any one of these CDs could end up being my favorite in a month or two, heh.

Happy New Year – Spread the Love.