Arsonists Get All The Girls – Portals [Review]

If my memory severs me right (which it probably doesn’t), I think I first heard Arsonists Get All The Girls on XM 42 Liquid Metal back in the day when Katie Brutal made our days a little brighter. To be quite honest, I originally thought it was a bunch of gibberish. But now after listening to Portals 9 times in a row. Not too sure why it took them 3 years to write an album, but I think it was a good idea. The Music is still – technical – if you want to call it that. I’d say it’s a little less gibberish in comparison to their 2006 album Hits From The Bow. Correction, I just found out that AGATG actually had Hits From the Bow remade, and a second album, The Game of Life (2007).

I will post a precaution to all metal listeners: If you don’t like keyboards, then stray away as far as you possibly can. It’s full of little – I’m going to call them “jingles”. It’s really not my thing, but I feel it fits to the music. It makes it somewhat bearable to listen to.

Pros +
Way Better Production work. Good Job, Zack Ohren.
Full Length Album
Awesome Album Art.

Cons -
Keyboards
…keyboards, sigh.

As usual I’m going to try my track by track review. Hit the jump.

Interdimensionary – Lame not metal (unless you want to use the robot voice)

The 42nd Ego - Good track, not liking the “jingles”. Guitar is pretty awesome, catchy riffs that I can see myself air guitaring after a 1/2 bottle of Jack Daniel’s.

My Cup’s Half Empty – fast pasted awesomness. Funky fresh brutal. Around the 1:10 mark, could this be them trying some new breakdown style? Nah. But it sounded cool. There’s this really weird guitar/keyboard colabration around the ~1:40 and the ~2:30 mark, sounds neat. I think I remember why I love this song. It starts at 2:53 on the timeline and it will continue till the 3:06 mark. No guitars, just keys, and trippy awesomness.

Skiff For The Suits – Favorite song of the album. Don’t know why, but I’m fond of this track. Epically boring breakdowns (what else do to expect?). There’s this really weird guitar/keyboard colabration around the ~1:40 and the ~2:30 mark, sounds neat. I think I remember why I love this song. It starts at 2:53 on the timeline and it will continue till the 3:06 mark. No guitars, just keys, and trippy awesomness.

In The Empyreans – blah. Too catchy, maybe with the Chevelle? Maybe a metal love makin’ song, yeah – that’s more like it. (skips to next song (long outtro)).

Saturnine – Ok, much better. This sounds like something good. Take notice, in the guitars, drums, and vocals (not so much the “yelling” vocals). This just sounds great. Shit – there’s the keys again *rolls eyes*.

Portals – This song just makes me want to get baked out of my mind and watch Flight of the Navigator. This song just makes me think of big, shiny, chrome… spaceships. Right?

I gave up, can’t take it anymore. If you’re a fan of, um I’m going to say See You Next Tuesday, Dr. Acula, and iwrestkedabearonce, then buy it. If not, don’t waste you’re money.